Hitting Kids

When I was a kid, I used to be smacked all the time... by my parents. Not long ago in New Zealand, there was a mass discussion in whether parents hitting their children should be made illegal or not. Many people thought it would be much more effective against child abuse cases. The reason why I think this caused so many strong arguments on both sides though is because people don't yet really know what the difference between hitting and beating. Hitting just means that parents use a form of disciplinary action to physically show their children that they have done wrong. Usually it occurs after the child has been warned many times and the child won't heed the admonishments. However, beating implies violence. Beating means that parents, especially fathers, use violence on their children as an outlet. I actually think that hitting kids has many more positive consequences than negative ones (not to the parents of course).

Usually my parents were pretty lenient. The one thing, however, which they would ALWAYS (and I mean ALWAYS) take seriously was me fighting with my two younger brothers. Being the oldest, I had the "responsibility" to be an example to my brothers and care for them but most of the time I thought it was bad luck that I was born first. Being the oldest out of three boys meant that I was responsible for most of my brothers actions and whenever we fought, it would be me who would be smacked.

Did I hate it? Of course I did. Some times I saw my brothers sniggering when they knew I would get in trouble and I resented them for it. Now, I realise that it probably was the greatest thing that my parents taught me. They taught me how it felt like to be hit. Whenever I used violence against my brothers, my parents would hit me and it would feel terrible. It made me realise how much pain I was unknowingly causing my brothers. It gave me perspective and, for the first time in my life, I put myself in others' shoes.

Usually, if parents aren't from a western culture, they will hit their kids. This is because it is socially acceptable to do so as it is seen as a common form of discipline. The positive side of this is that parents know just how much to hit their kids. However, there are those violent pigs who use this "smacking" as an outlet for their own anger. Parents need to know that smacking is for the children, not for themselves. What my dad used to do after he smack us (which left us feeling angry and resentful) was tell us what we did wrong and give the three of us a hug. This dissolved all those feelings of resentment and left us in tears.

Making "smacking" illegal just means that society is inhibiting a way of parents disciplining their own kids. It will eventually lead to a society where kids may do whatever they wish and only get reprimanded for it. A society where parents have no control. If parents aren't allowed to discipline their children with their own methods, then parents also should not be responsible for their childrens' wrongdoings. In the end, we're left asking ourselves "how can we be responsible for our kids if we are not allowed to discipline them?"